Self Image: Beauty Is More Than Skin Deep

You might not know, but this baby
seal is considering breast enlargement
surgery. Oh... crap. It's giving me the
baby-seal look. Shouldn't have told you that!

Self Image and Beauty have always been interesting ideas, especially among the teenagers of modern society, but that is not to say that it doesn't affect all of us. Why is it that some people, despite possessing a figure or looks which others may deem sub-par, can feel great, have constant companionship and enjoy life, whilst others who look the same or have the same, undesirable body figure feel incredibly lonely and depressed, and rationalize that their physical appearance is the cause of their troubles?

As you've probably guessed from the title, the answer is a person's self image. Your self image is basically your conception of what sort of person you are. It's the culmination of all your beliefs about yourself, what you can and can't do and how you think that others will or should react to you. What I've noticed with many people is the results that they get from whatever endeavours they attempt will usually be in line with their self image. At the same time, your self image very often dictates how you feel about yourself.

Take the example of cosmetic plastic surgery. Maxwell Maltz, author and plastic surgeon, describes in his book Psycho-Cybernetics the importance and impact of one's self image. When he was working in cosmetic surgery, he would notice how a portion of his clients, after having surgery, would feel great about themselves. They would have a drastic change in their demeanour, becoming more energetic, happy and charismatic - it seemed that the surgery had removed some physical defect that was deeply linked to their emotional state. However, if someone's feelings of happiness came just from how their face looked, then why was it that another portion of Maltz's clients, who had similar enhancement surgery, had little improvement in their feelings of happiness or satisfaction after their procedure? Why did Maltz hear statements along the lines of 'I know it's gone, but I still look bad'? If a person's happiness really comes from physical beauty, then every one who gets cosmetically should, theoretically speaking, come out feeling like a rock star (even though many rock stars have pretty unhappy lives).

The thing is, sometimes they don't. The missing link is the relationship between the person's physical characteristics and their inner self image. Very often, your physical characteristics are tied quite deeply to the beliefs about yourself. You may suggest that the mole on your nose 'makes' you ugly, or that the strange shape of your ears 'makes' you look like a loser, and so on. Imagine if you were to go under the knife and get that utterly horrific mole removed. If the change in your physical features also resulted in a change in the beliefs that build up your self-image, then you would walk out feeling far better about yourself, and the belief that you're ugly could potentially be gone. But what if your beliefs of ugliness go far beyond your physical features? What if your self-image of physical unpleasantness wasn't changed? What if you walk out of the operating theatre still utterly convinced of your undesirability or lack of beauty? Shit's going down.

Though I believe in people having the freedom to choose the things that they want to do in their life, without being hampered or impeded by the opinions of others, let me offer a suggestion. Instead of altering your external outcomes, consider trying to change your self image. By external outcomes, I not only mean physical features, but almost any other pursuit, such as better grades or an improved social life.

All of your actions, feelings, behaviours and abilities are always consistent with your self image. If you have the self image of yourself as someone who is incredibly ugly and never has any friends, then you may act in ways that possibly ward people away from you, and you may feel miserable. If you have the self image of someone who is horrible in one particular subject (eg. Maths or English), then no matter how hard you try, your test results will very likely reflect it.

But what if you have the self image of yourself as someone who is beautiful in their unique way? You may begin to convince yourself of your own beauty, and begin to feel great. Perhaps you'll begin to act in ways that draw people to you, and you may find that you interpret things in a way that reinforces your belief that you're beautiful.

My main point is that much of the time, when we look to find solutions to problems, we may be looking in the wrong place. There is a brilliant story of how a person was out one night and saw an old man on the floor next to a street lamp. When asked what he was doing, the old man replied that he was trying to find his house key. The narrator decides to help the man, but after an hour of fruitless searching, asks the man whether he was sure he lost it here. The man replies that he lost it at his house, but was searching out here because there was more light.

Make sure that when you're looking for solutions to your problems, such as a lack of beliefs in your physical appearance, you're looking in the right place, and focusing on what really matters.

"If you knew how powerful your thoughts are, you'd never think a negative thought" - Peace Pilgrim