Gone
The rain pattered against the top of the restaurant’s roof,
and as she sat on the stool, her right leg crossed over her left, one hand on
her thigh and the other cradling a glass of champagne, she imagined that
someone up in Heaven was gently tapping on the ceiling as if it was a piano.
Somewhere in the place a string quartet was gently performing a haunting
Baroque piece, their performance nearly being drowned out by the sound of
ordinary people conversing about their mundane lives between mouthfuls of
chicken as their knives and forks clinked against their glass plates. The girl
couldn’t have been more than twenty-five, thirty at the most, but there was
something in the way that she sat alone, her back against the bar, her eyes
scanning the room and watching everyone else around her that hinted at the
existence of a deep dissatisfaction with the essence of her life. Her hair was the
colour of dark chocolate with a streak of blue in the side; her eyes were soft
as grey pearls. She wasn’t particularly outstanding in any way – one could
criticize all manner of things about her appearance – but oftentimes it is not
a physical perfection that draws one human being to another in the way that I
found myself drawn to her. This was not the primal lure of a particular body
shape or a particular shaping of the nose, no. It was too dignified an
attraction for that, too intellectually and spiritually encompassing to be
simply the result of a haphazard, tardy lust. Glancing at her from the corner
of the room, I knew that she was the one
for me. That she was the perfect, faultless girl with whom my life would
suddenly become infused with a meaning that I had never previously realized.
I placed my empty glass on a table before glancing back at
her. She was still analyzing the room when our eyes locked for the briefest of
moments. Although it could not have been more than half a second, the twinge of
electricity which shivered down my spine during that time solidified my
certainty that she was the perfect girl for me. I knew that fate lands her
hands once, and once only, so grasping the moment, I maneuvered around the
restaurant’s patrons and before long I was standing less than half a meter away
from her face. Up close, she was pretty and not unremarkable, but if you were
to ask me to describe something about her face, or her clothes, or her hair
that really stood out, I would be at a loss for an answer. Her eyes were now
gazing at me and her eyebrows were raised slightly. I opened my mouth – what
was the best thing to say? Was I to comment on grand subjects such as
philosophy? No, that would be unfitting for the situation. Maybe tell her some
story about my life that she could find interesting? No, small talk would be
defeating my purpose. Perhaps the best thing to do was to tell her outright
that she was the perfect girl for me… but I convinced myself against it. It
would only seem strange and eccentric.
“The music is good here, isn’t it?” I found myself saying. The
girl blinked.
“Yeah, I guess.”
I was about to reply when she cut me off.
“I’m waiting for someone. I’m hoping they’ll be here soon.”
“Oh,” I began, “well, I hope you enjoy your night.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
I was about to reply when she cut me off.
“I’m waiting for someone. I’m hoping they’ll be here soon.”
“Oh,” I began, “well, I hope you enjoy your night.”
And that was the end of our conversation.
As I was walking towards the exit of the restaurant, I
realized exactly what I should have said. It was a story about a boy and a girl
that began with “Once upon a time” and ended with “She was gone.”
Once upon a time there was a young boy not older than 15. He didn’t overly stand out – if you were to spot
him in amongst a crowd of people, you would most likely not give him a second
look. He was by almost all accounts, completely average. On one spring
afternoon, he was jogging around the suburban shops when he saw his one true
love walking towards the local post office. There was nothing incredibly
outstanding about her – indeed, there was nothing excessively special about
either of them. The girl was simply out to post a letter to someone and was
wearing a Tweety-Bird t-shirt and a well-worn pair of jeans. Her
orange-streaked hair was untied and was naturally wavy. Her mundane clothing
was not chosen to make much of an impression, as there was no need to. Any
other person would not have given her a second glance, but this girl was the
boy’s one true love and as he walked towards her and her towards him, young as
he was, he knew that he had found his perfect girl.
The two stopped in front of each other and met at the postbox,
and as the girl placed the envelope into the slot, the boy touched her shoulder
and said “Hi”. The moment the girl looked into the boy’s eyes – even though she
was only fourteen – she knew that she had found her true love, her perfect boy
with whom she would be willing to spend the entirety of her future with.
“Hey,” she responded, smiling gently.
The boy offered her his hand, and together they walked down the street, hand in hand, with the rest of the world oblivious to the gentle intonation of fate that had just played out between the two.
The boy offered her his hand, and together they walked down the street, hand in hand, with the rest of the world oblivious to the gentle intonation of fate that had just played out between the two.
The conversation between the two played out perfectly –
every word was what the other person wanted to hear, every joke hit the right
note, every topic was engaging, grasping and consuming. As the two talked about
all manner of things, from philosophy to religion to their lives and their
futures, the two fell deeper and deeper into a true and perfect love. The girl
told the boy things that she had never told anyone else, and the boy shared his
deepest worries, both with complete trust in the other. They walked through a
park where the stone track was met by vibrant grass and handfuls of
golden-brown honey-coloured leaves on the floor, where the towering trunks of
hundred-year oaks on either side of the path offered a feeling of the most
sublime grandeur, where the grass-green leaves waved about in the wind above
them, creating an intricate dance of shadow on the ground below. It was as if
the Earth had decided that the pair’s perfect love had to be accompanied with a
perfect setting, and as the two sat down on a park bench before a pond, they
felt a serene serendipity like none other.
“I can’t believe that
I found my true, perfect love” the girl said, “you know, just like that.”
By now they were staring deep into each other’s eyes. The girl continued.
“I think that we don’t really have free will. I believe that, to an extent, you can predict what our lives are going to be just from analyzing what is happening right now. You know, the way how if I hadn’t met that person who I was writing a letter to, then I wouldn’t have had to send that letter, and then I wouldn’t have met you at the post office, and then we wouldn’t be here. But I did end up sending that letter, and I did meet you, and now I’m here – it’s almost as if meeting you was predetermined.”
By now they were staring deep into each other’s eyes. The girl continued.
“I think that we don’t really have free will. I believe that, to an extent, you can predict what our lives are going to be just from analyzing what is happening right now. You know, the way how if I hadn’t met that person who I was writing a letter to, then I wouldn’t have had to send that letter, and then I wouldn’t have met you at the post office, and then we wouldn’t be here. But I did end up sending that letter, and I did meet you, and now I’m here – it’s almost as if meeting you was predetermined.”
The boy agreed to what the girl was saying, and the two decided to test their free will. After some time, they decided that if their love was really true and perfect, and if they were really meant to be together, then they should leave each other at that moment, with no way of contacting each other. That way, if Fate really meant for them to be together, then Fate would bring them together again in the future, and when they did, they would marry each other on the spot, no questions asked.
.
. .
So the two parted ways at the pond, and went back to their
daily lives. The boy eventually finished school and went on to gain a stable
job in finance. He married twice – the first marriage falling apart within a
year, and the second one kept for convenience, as they already had school-aged
children and a family. He spent much of his life working and travelling around
the world, and at times with certain people, he felt love, sometimes great love,
but never the perfect love which he had felt one summer’s day in his youth.
The girl grew on to study in art, and travelled overseas for
years at a time, wondering around the globe. Eventually, after a number of
failed relationships, she settled down and likewise started a family of her
own. Her husband loved her more than she loved him, and like most of the other
couples around her age, her marriage only continued because of their
responsibility to their family, and not of love.
As the two grew towards their old age, each became sick and
only partially recovered. Their bodies became frail, and their minds dampened
with the pressure of the years. The love that they had felt throughout their
lives had been comfortable and satisfying, but nowhere near truly perfect. One
day, with the best of their years behind them, both the lady and the gentlemen
were back travelling on the same street where they had both grown up.
The man was in a wheelchair, and wheeled himself towards the
post office, and the lady hobbled along, leaning half her weight on a walking
stick with every step. The two of them moved towards each other, and as the man
looked into the lady’s eyes, and the lady gazed into the man’s, each felt a
flicker of love flow throughout their body. For a moment, the man’s eyes lit
up, the kindling of a romance in his heart, but the flame quickly tapered off.
It had been too long, the number of years too many, for them to remember each
other. The years of time had worked at their memories, until neither could remember
the other. And just like that, the elderly man passed the elderly woman without
saying a word.
The thing is, Fate really meant for them to be together. The
love that they felt for each other was
the truest, most perfect love that they would ever find. The boy was really
‘the one’ for the girl, and likewise, but they made the mistake of testing Fate
when they already had each other. There was no remedy to their error, and
Opportunity gave them no other handle to seize her by. Such is life.
…
…
I turned around just before I walked out of the restaurant,
and looked at where the lady had been sitting before. Who was it that she was
looking for? Maybe I could go back and
talk to her again. I almost began to walk into the restaurant, but the stool
where she sat was empty. She was gone.
Eric Xie
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